Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
