You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
