Christians are straight up FREAKS
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
