The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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