so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
