i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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