she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
