she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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