I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
