i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
