hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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