Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
