i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
