I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
