so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
