i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
