you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
