just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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