you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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