why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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