life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
