we have officially lost it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
