I accidentally had phone sex last night
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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