Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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