The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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