she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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