After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
