Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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