The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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