I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
