I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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