Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Randomize
