dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
