the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i dont even know how to be here
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
