This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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