So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
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Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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