Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We need to rekindle our bromance
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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