dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
