I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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