like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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