Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
