You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize