Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
