i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
