We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
