I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize