I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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