I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
