Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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