What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
