Cold hands, warm shart.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize