My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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