My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
