I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
