Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
