tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
