I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
