hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize