so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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