Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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