I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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