We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
