I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
