I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
