I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
