i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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