you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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